Thursday, January 21, 2010
I'm So Confused!
George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.
Remeber the classic Seinfeld episode (aren't they all classic), where George does the opposite of everything his instincts tell him and things being working out in his life? Does anyone in Oilerville feel like their living their own "Opposite" episode?
Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
I've got to admit, I haven't watched much Oilers hockey lately. Not because I'm sick of the losing. If that were the case I'd have quit a few seasons ago. I don't watch becasue I'm conflicted. Confused. Distraught, even. I watch the Oilers to cheer for the Oilers - I always have, through good teams and bad, cheered for the boys to win. Last night the Oilers played the Canucks, on TV, after my daughter's bedtime, with my wife out to do some shopping. In the past, this would have been a night devoted to hockey (and a certain level of silence you come to appreciate when you've got an energetic 5 year old). I stayed away for 2 periods, trying not to think about the game, or the score. I caved in time to watch the third and was surprised to see the Oilers up 2-1 and playing pretty solid hockey. Deven Dubnyk in net, playing well, in line for his first career win.
George : Hey, I just found twenty dollars! I tell you this, something is happening in my life. I did this opposite thing last night. Up was down, black was white, good was -
George : Day was -
Elaine : Night.
George : Yes!
But I couldn't cheer for the Oilers. I actually laughed when the Canucks tied the score. Not a happy laugh, just a "I totally knew that would happen laugh", a kind of releaved "I won't have to be disappointed about the win" laugh. What? I would have been disappointed if they won?
George : Alrighty. Ah ... my last job was in publishing ... I got fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman.
I gotta be honest, this dive for five thing is tough. As if to rub salt in the wound, young Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin were on the tube just prior to the Oilers game saying "look what we can do better than any other draft eleigible player in 2010". At least, that's what I thought they were saying. Might have been "Go Oilers Go", given they are among the few that wouldn't be excited by an Oilers top two choice.
George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
You've got to think this is as bad as it gets for Oilers management. Apathy from the fans at best, outright rage at worst. The building last night was near silent. I'd imagine any time now those empty seats in the building become officially unsold and that sellout streak will end. I unsubscribed from the Oilers news e-mails yesterday. Tired of the spin on the losses - tired of caring too much to try to not care at all.