I'm So Confused!

George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.

Remeber the classic Seinfeld episode (aren't they all classic), where George does the opposite of everything his instincts tell him and things being working out in his life? Does anyone in Oilerville feel like their living their own "Opposite" episode?

Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

I've got to admit, I haven't watched much Oilers hockey lately. Not because I'm sick of the losing. If that were the case I'd have quit a few seasons ago. I don't watch becasue I'm conflicted. Confused. Distraught, even. I watch the Oilers to cheer for the Oilers - I always have, through good teams and bad, cheered for the boys to win. Last night the Oilers played the Canucks, on TV, after my daughter's bedtime, with my wife out to do some shopping. In the past, this would have been a night devoted to hockey (and a certain level of silence you come to appreciate when you've got an energetic 5 year old). I stayed away for 2 periods, trying not to think about the game, or the score. I caved in time to watch the third and was surprised to see the Oilers up 2-1 and playing pretty solid hockey. Deven Dubnyk in net, playing well, in line for his first career win.

George : Hey, I just found twenty dollars! I tell you this, something is happening in my life. I did this opposite thing last night. Up was down, black was white, good was -
Jerry: Bad.
George : Day was -
Elaine : Night.
George : Yes!

But I couldn't cheer for the Oilers. I actually laughed when the Canucks tied the score. Not a happy laugh, just a "I totally knew that would happen laugh", a kind of releaved "I won't have to be disappointed about the win" laugh. What? I would have been disappointed if they won?

George : Alrighty. Ah ... my last job was in publishing ... I got fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman.

I gotta be honest, this dive for five thing is tough. As if to rub salt in the wound, young Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin were on the tube just prior to the Oilers game saying "look what we can do better than any other draft eleigible player in 2010". At least, that's what I thought they were saying. Might have been "Go Oilers Go", given they are among the few that wouldn't be excited by an Oilers top two choice.

George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!

You've got to think this is as bad as it gets for Oilers management. Apathy from the fans at best, outright rage at worst. The building last night was near silent. I'd imagine any time now those empty seats in the building become officially unsold and that sellout streak will end. I unsubscribed from the Oilers news e-mails yesterday. Tired of the spin on the losses - tired of caring too much to try to not care at all.

HAPPY FESTIVUS!

Well, December 23rd is upon us. The aluminum pole has been taken out of the crawl space, very high strength to weight ratio, no tinsel to distract us, and now, for the Airing of Grievances:

I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Moreau - your team stinks! You're the captain of this mess. You couldn't captain a.............I've lost my train of thought.

Horcoff - $5.5million, $7million? Who cares when you're not playing worth a nickle. Buy a new shoulder.

Khabibulin......you couldn't......where's Khabibulin? DAMN IT!

Deslauriers - You're 6'4" - the net is 4' high. Do the math! Stop getting beaten over the shoulder!

Cogliano - put your shirt on and score some goals pretty boy.

O'Sullivan - WTF are you shooting at?

Comrie - you sickly little runt! Tamiflu, cold FX, Tylenol, check it out. The boss owns pharmacies for chrissakes!

Nillson - I wish you some consistency, I wish you some consistency, I wish you some consistancy, and a happy new haircut!

Pouliot - Pubis sounds made up to me!

Gilbert - pretend its preseason!

Souray - pretend its last year!

Penner, Vishnovsky - well, you're just Festivus Miracles!



Happy Holidays everyone.

Now, festivus doesn't end until someone pins me

Olympic Delight?

Dustin Penner is having a start for the ages. After last nights game he described his feelings as "skyrockets in flight", a reference to the hilarious Anchorman Afternoon Delight scene - if you haven't seen it, check it out!
Right now, he's playing as complete a game as any forward in the league and looks to have turned a corner in his NHL career. He did a similar turnabout in the AHL in 05-06 when he went from a 28 point player to putting up 39 goals and 84 points in only 57 games. Dude looks like he can't be contained and as of today is the highest scoring Canadian winger in the NHL.
If in December Penner is still a point per game player, still driving wide past defenders, planting himself in front of the net, killing penalties, and basically looking like Oilers MVP, does his name begin to pop up in Team Canada conversations? I wonder how a line of Penner, Perry, and Getzlaf would look?

Training Camp for a 35 Year Old Beer Leaguer

So, I spent 35 minutes on the wife's recumbent bike last night to prepare for the first game back between the pipes on Friday. The legs are a little stiff this morning, so today will be an optional workout:o) Snow on the ground this morning and the Flames and Oilers go at it again tonight and man it feels nice to have hockey back. I mean, baseball isn't bad but what's that Homer J quote after giving up beer? Something like "I never realized how boring this game really is".

So at some point today I'll drag the hockey bag down from the garage loft, unzip, and let the fowl odors escape - from the hockey bag!!! Take the blades out for their annual sharpening (I'm one of those goalies that likes to not mess with the skates much. If I can stand I can play - they get sharpened at the start of the season and again if I completely lose an edge). Settle in tonight to watch MacT give some Oilers insight while Khabibulin regains his rep as a Flames killer. Robbie Shremp suits up for the Islanders tonight for the first time as well. I was never much of a Shremp booster while he was Oilers property, but I can't help rooting for a goal from him tonight. I hope he does well - I'm willing to bet Steve Ludzig has him picked in a keeper league already:o) Speaking of which - I have 18 guys going in my pool tonight! Come on you 18 sonsabitches! Well, except for you Oli Jokinen - take the night off.

On a sad note, I haven't touched this blog in 2 months. I opened it up this morning and saw that I've cracked the ever elusive 10,000 hit total. Over 2000 hits since I last updated. Some of you out there have actually been checking to see if I've written anything, or at least one person has some 2000 times. Here's the number for the Alberta Mental Health Board Hotline - 1-877-303-2642. Someone there can help you.

Let's Go Oilers!

Oh, and what the hell is with the contest to come up with a cheer for the Canadian Olympic Team? Is 'Go Canada Go' not acceptable? Just watch some variation on EH! EH! EH! be picked as the winner.

Odds and Ends

* Dennis Grebeshkov's arbitration date has been set for July 29th in TO. I suspect he settles before that date on a new contract with the Oilers. The reason, James Wisniewski. He put up 24 points in half a season split between Chicago and Anaheim last season and signed a new deal worth $2.75m. He's the Oilers ace in the hole and could drag Greb's award down below $3mil for next season. I wouldn't look past Keith Yandle's 30 points and $1.2mil cap hit either. Chances are slim this gets to that point - I'm betting a one or two year deal at $3mil per is on the horizon.

* Did Jack Johnson just become a whole lot more interesting? Rumors of his involvment in a trade involving Sheldon Souray swirled around the draft. One concern though was Johnson apparent belief that he was worth close to $5mil per season. Many speculated that he'd actually sign a deal for around $3mil per. Well, news from capgeek shows Jack Johnson signing a 2 year deal with a $1.425mil cap hit. Although I'd be weary of trading Souray - that deal has become much more intriguing based on cap relief alone. It also means Ladi Smid should forget about making anything close to $1.5mil per season - he's Johnson without the upside.

* Are the Oilers trying to light a fire under Dany Heatley? I know, that's terrible (groan)

Not Hockey Related Whatsoever

My daughter is the troublemaker in the green hat. Sometimes it's best to remember what's really important - like your family and their happiness. These might be the dog days of summer for hockey, but for anyone with a family - especially young children - they should be the best days of your life. Hope everyone is having a great summer.

How Many Sutters Can a Sutter Brother Hire if a Sutter Brother Could Hire Sutters?

So Darryl Sutter just made it official yesterday and hired his brother Brent to coach the Calgary Flames - apparently, Brent is a better coach than Darryl, but the elder brother remains in the top four worldwide.

Let's take a look at the Sutters now employed in the Flames organiztion:

Darryl Sutter - GM









Brent Sutter - Head Coach


Duane Sutter - Director of Player Personell


Ron Sutter - Pro Scout


Brett Sutter - Minor League Player


Juan Sutter (pronounced Huh-wan) - Team Massuese


Juanita Sutter - Team "Massuese" (happy endings specialist)


Jimbo Sutter - Concession Condiment Replenishment Specialist


Billy and Bobby Sutter - Sutter Farm Liasons