Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Clint Malarchuck is surely a cat. A very dumb cat. But a cat nonetheless. Just read this story over at TSN about how Clint shot himself in the chin while resting his .22 calibre rifle between his knees. Apparantly he was hunting rabbits - Elmer Fudd couldn't have screwed up this bad. Malarchuck hasn't had the easiest of athletes lives. We all remember the famous throat cutting incident in which Clint nearly died on the ice after having his throat slashed by an errant skate blade. I also remember reading that he suffered from some sort of OCD disorder during his playing days where he'd leave the ice during practice convinced he left his stove on at home and believing his wife was cheating on him with a character from a soap opera....seriously.
In any event, I have the following suggestions for Clint:
1. Make sure to urinate before you go out setting any bear traps.
2. Do not put your ear to the track to see if a train is approaching.
3. Always wear a seatbelt - even when sitting at the dinner table at home.
4. Consider having all meat blended prior to consumption.
5. Never partake in any activity requiring you to wear safety glasses - I'm pretty sure you'd poke your eye out while putting the glasses on.
This is Dion Phaneuf - your 2009 Norris Trophy winner. He hasn't played a game yet. In fact, no NHL defenceman has played more that 2 games this season. Yet I've heard Dion Phaneuf mentioned twice now by two major sports writers (Al Strachan and Mike Brophy), as the man to unseat Lidstrom as the NHL's best reargaurd. Somewhere Steve Simmons is nodding in agreement. You see, they all have seen Ugly put up some major points on the PP, and throw some bone rattling hits (on the TSN highlight reels). The very same reels that show him skating behind his own net on opposing goals, or getting beat wide on a big Kipper save. No matter though - the men that vote on this trophy have seen enough and have anointed him the heir apparent. Brophy even went so far as to imply that it is time to give the award to a young player - noting quite astutely that usually the Norris winner is an older, more established player! What's that you say Mike? Norris trophies usually go to players in a position that is tough to develop in? Where older, smarter players ussually excel? Where a good night by most D-men are one in which you don't really notice them - although they've been on the ice for 22 minutes? Who decided it was a good idea for the writers to vote on this award anyway? Just give Phaneuf the nightly monster nod and be done with it - please.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Well, I'm back from Anaheim with everything intact except my bank account. I was ready to fling a D cell at Pronger's head at a moments notice, but the only 6'6" gap toothed dude I saw down there seemed to be a more likable fella than CFP could ever imagine being.
On the way home I discovered yet another reason why Calgary sucks. Has anyone ever gone through customs in Calgary? After getting off the plane with a four year old in desperate need of a potty (she likes to wait for the seatbelt sign to come on before she really needs to go), I grabbed her and began to race down the corridor thinking surely there must be a toilet close by. Nope. And we landed in Calgary, but I'm pretty sure customs is in Airdrie. The corridor between the jetway and the first checkpoint (where you lie about how much you've purchased) is easily a half mile long, with about four or five 90 degree bends just to bottleneck the traffic, making it difficult for seniors, those in wheelchairs, and passengers frantically carrying small children with bladders filled to failure from a 3 hour flight of drinking little clear plastic cups of "water with ice in it".
Anyway, a little better than a week away from Canada in "a joke of a hockey market", has left me a little out of the loop. I see we lost a few games in shootouts, I imagine that's been mentioned in the blogs somewhere at some point. I need to do some reading to catch up.