Thursday, October 9, 2008
2 Down, 7 to Go
Clint Malarchuck is surely a cat. A very dumb cat. But a cat nonetheless. Just read this story over at TSN about how Clint shot himself in the chin while resting his .22 calibre rifle between his knees. Apparantly he was hunting rabbits - Elmer Fudd couldn't have screwed up this bad. Malarchuck hasn't had the easiest of athletes lives. We all remember the famous throat cutting incident in which Clint nearly died on the ice after having his throat slashed by an errant skate blade. I also remember reading that he suffered from some sort of OCD disorder during his playing days where he'd leave the ice during practice convinced he left his stove on at home and believing his wife was cheating on him with a character from a soap opera....seriously.
In any event, I have the following suggestions for Clint:
1. Make sure to urinate before you go out setting any bear traps.
2. Do not put your ear to the track to see if a train is approaching.
3. Always wear a seatbelt - even when sitting at the dinner table at home.
4. Consider having all meat blended prior to consumption.
5. Never partake in any activity requiring you to wear safety glasses - I'm pretty sure you'd poke your eye out while putting the glasses on.