2 Minutes for Being Stupid

Oilers Mount Dirtymore

2010-08-26T13:55:00.006-06:00

Great idea over at thepensblog.com as an homage to the Mount Puckmore series over at Puck Daddy - Mount Dirtymore! A collection of cheap shot artists, pricks, and whiners. The post got me thinking about the dirtiest Oilers of all time - or at least in my recollection - which would be somewhere around the early 80's to today. The rules are quite simple, as they are mine! The player had to be a dirty Oiler, proudly wearing the blue and orange on his elbow, and the player, at some point in his Oilers career, had to make me personally cringe at the thought that I was cheering for this player as a member of the Oilers.

Many players to consider over the years but honestly, it was quite easy for me to pick four off the top of my head.

Before getting to the top four though, here are my runner ups, starting with perhaps one of the dirtiest players the league has ever seen - Chris Pronger.

Pronger has been suspended on several occasions for delivering elbows to the heads of his opponents. Prongers defence is that his elbows are at head level to these players as he is a freakishly lanky 6'6" bastard. That doesn't expalin his suspension for stomping his stake blade on Ryan Kessler a few years back. On top of the physical assaults, he a prick too. Pronger would probably make my list as one of the top four dirtiest in the league, but for the life of me, I can't remember him doing anything really noteworthy in this regard as a member of the Oilers.

Dave Brown

Brown was truely an enforcer. A feared fighter who could do little else on the ice. One of the craziest fighters the NHL has ever seen. I once saw Brown fighting a Calgary Flame (who I can't remember the name of). He knocked the player over backwards and got pulled down on top of him. The Flame, in a terribly unfortuante position, was helpless to defend himself. Brown raised his fist, hesitated, as if to think, "I shouldn't do this", and then proceded to do it anyway, landing several solid punches square to the face of his prone opponent. A saw him interviewed after the game and he basically said he thought the Flames player would do the same to him were the situations reversed. Brown was suspended for 15 games one season for breaking the jaw of Tomas Sandstrom with a crosscheck - but he did this as a member of the Flyers - so no dice.

Marty McSorley

A lot like Brown. Good enforcer for the Oilers but his claim to dirty fame comes as a Boston Bruin whislt trying to get Donald Brashear's attention. Again, no dice.

Dave Manson

I remember thinking that Dave Manson was a dirty player that always got away with being dirty....and I liked it. His signature move was to let the rushing player get a step past him and then deliver a quick jab to the face (disguising it as some sort of clean takedown I presume - because he did it alot). In today's NHL it would not fly, but back in the beginning of the clutch and grab era, it was cool. Manson was a little dirty - but not sensational at it!

Glenn Anderson

Anderson was a fearless and reckless player. He took many a goalie into the net while driving hard off the boards. I can recall kicking and stick swinging incidents with Anderson, and a search of his name and "dirty" on google finds plently of anecdotal evidence. He was suspended for 8 games for highsticking Jet's Dave Silk in the ear. He was also fined for breaking Tomas Sandstroms check with a punch while having his knuckles on his right hand taped (the fine stood, even though Anderson clocked him with a left. And, as mentioned above in the Dave Brown section - Sandstrom had a bit of a glass jaw)

Now, with those behind us, onto my top 4:

#4. Ken "the rat" Linesmen

One of the great nicknames in professional hockey, known both for his pest like demeanor on the ice, and, as I've heard, his penchant for conducting post game interviews with his towel a little too loose. Ken Linesman was a dirty hockey player. He was convicted of assault for kicking a player in the head while still in junior, and involved again in a kicking incident while with the Flyers. He also bit his former Edmonton teammate Lee Fogolin on the face. Fogolin needed a tetnus shot, probably because he told doctors he was bitten by a rat. (Folgolin broke Linesmans nose later in the game in retaliation.) As an Oiler, Linesman was a good player, producing at about a PPG clip in his first 2 season go 'round. He makes the list for memorably fighting Dean Kennedy of the Kings under the stands after they were sent off the ice for unsportsmanlike conduct. Apparantly not thinking he had done enough to earn the penalty, Linesman proceeded to hit Kenedy in the face with his stick, and then slam his head into the concrete floor.

#3. Dwayne Roloson

Dirty comes in all shapes and sizes. Not one to bash opponets heads off concrete, Roloson makes the grade for bashing lumber off balls. Roloson, a good goalie - and nearly a legend in Edmonton if not for the Game 1 injury of the 2006 SCF - is also a bit of a prick. I'm guessing his antics were not well liked by many of his teammates, opponents, or officials. Constant whining, delaying of the game, and being all tough in his $5000 suit of armour, made Roloson difficult to like as a person, and sometimes as a player. But this, is why I, as a human being with testicles, put Roloson on the dirty list.

#2. Mark Messier

The words Mark Messier and Elbow will forever be intertwined. Messier, one of the greatest Edmonton Oilers, and NHL players, of all time, was dirty. If Steve Downie had the skill of Mark Messier he'd have an NHL award named after him. Messier leveled many an opponent with a high elbow. Just ask Rick Nattress, Vladamir Kovin, Musil, DeGray. Should have been suspended several more times in his career but looks to have gotten the star treatment, Messier was a dirty beast of a player.

#1. Bryan Marchment

One of my happiest days as an Oiler fan was the day Marchment was traded away - I couldn't stand him. And what a trade it was.....Bryan Marchment and 2 first round picks for Roman Hamrlik and Paul Comrie! (OK, doesn't sound that great until you realize that those 2 first rounders were Steve Kelley and Jason Bonsignore). Marchment (pronounced marsh-mon - which is French for deliberate attempt to injure), is one of the dirtiest I've ever seen. Suspended 13 times in his first 12 seasons, Bryan Marchments dirty hits (typically to the knees) injured Modano, Nieuwendyk, Bure, Gartner, Karia, Clark, and others. You can see he liked to take out the other teams best players. Some of his "best" work can be found here, here, and you can see what former teammates thought of him here. Fittingly, Marchment ended his career as a Calgary Flame - which makes my hatred of this former Oiler much more palatable.

So, there you have it - my list of the dirtiest Oilers of my time. I'm sure there were others that I've missed out on. My recollections of the dynasty Oilers is not as good as many. I never saw them play live as a group. I watched Messier drop an unsuspecting Zdeno Cigar off a faceoff as a member of the Canucks, and witnessed nearly all of Roli's antics as an Oiler, but there are many others out there who could add to this list I'm sure.

Interesting note about my list, Anderson, Linseman, and Messier were linemates in 1983-84.....jeesus, keep your heads up against those guys!

Take that David Staples!

2010-08-17T14:41:00.002-06:00

Fallen off in the past year have I? Haven't got the passion to write something more frequently do I?

Well......yeah...I got nothin.

You're right. I started writing on this blog fairly frequently at first but interest faded, work, summer, and life got in the way, and the Oilers give very little for a guy to write about. As the season picks up, I'm sure I will find the odd topic to weigh in on - but Lowetide is the interesting guy in the offseason. I read and I lurk.

Come on hockey season!

And We Shall Be The Santa Maria.....

2010-06-29T11:36:00.002-06:00

"Does anybody know how to drive this thing, said the captain as he fell to his knees...."

News today of Ethan Moreau being waived,l on his way to being picked up or bought out. Either way, so ends the tenure of thecaptainethanmoreau. Alternate Captain Sheldon Souray won't be back after asking for a trade, and Steve Staois (another Alternate) was shipped out at the 2010 deadline. That leaves Ales Hemsky and Shawn Horcoff with the remaining letters on the club, and I belive Penner wore an A after Hemsky went down last year. Any of those guys Captian material? Thecaptainaleshemsky roles off the tongue, but I can't see it. The guy has moaned about his role in the past, is lukewarm on coming back after his contract expires, and just doesn't come off as the captain type. Horcoff probably would make a fine captain but I think too many fans would associate that C on his chest with the Contract on his shoulders so, pressure wise, I don't believe it's a good fit. Penner? Season aside, not the shining example of discipline and work ethic one would have in a captain....I bet he arranges a hell of a team dinner though!

So, who else? Not a lot of great options IMO to captain this lot. Suggestions?

Ramble On

2010-03-26T10:16:00.004-06:00

- Well - the confusion has passed. I am now free to cheer for Oiler wins again as we are pretty much secure in 30th place and I no longer have to feel dirty cheering on my team*

- Have I ever been more happy to see an Islanders win than I was last night? I think not.

- Detroit is the best 8th seed since the Oilers in 2006. The Wings in the finals would not surprise me one bit.

- Ryan Whitney has been a pleasant surprise so far. Visnovsky has been scoring some highlight reel goals in Anaheim, but that team seems to be suffering from a severe Olympic hangover. Perry, Getzlaf, Ryan, Selanne, Hiller, Neidermeyer, Visnovsky, and Koivu all played significant minutes in Vancouver. Any connection?

- Remember when everyone talked about the Oilers shootout wins and the mirage of a good team it created? Pheonix has 12 - I wouldn't pick them to get out of round 1.

- Have Oilers fans latched onto Tyler Seguin so they can continue to criticize the Oilers after they choose Taylor Hall?

- I would trade Hemsky, and only Hemsky, for the right to choose 1st and 2nd. I really don't think he resigns after his current contract.

- Will any of the Olympians play for MacT at the World Championships? For that matter, what about the Olympic snubs? Might be a young Team Canada this spring. (Except for Roloson?)

- My theory is Sutter brought in Kotalik to replace Phaneufs point shot on the PP. Since the trades, Kotalik has outscored Phaneuf 1-0 - guess Sutter was right:o)

- Brian Burke's Leafs have won 7 of their last 10 games and still sit pretty securely in 29th place. Remeber when he gloated about taking the picks for Dustin Penner and that given the Oilers recent records, he expected them to be pretty good picks? Would anyone now trade Dustin Penner straight up for Phill Kessel? It's be a tough call. Would anyone trade Tyler Seguin or Taylor Hall for Kessel? How about Hall a 1st and a 2nd?. Good on ya Burkie.

*the word team used loosely.

I'm So Confused!

2010-01-21T13:00:00.002-07:00

George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.

Remeber the classic Seinfeld episode (aren't they all classic), where George does the opposite of everything his instincts tell him and things being working out in his life? Does anyone in Oilerville feel like their living their own "Opposite" episode?

Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

I've got to admit, I haven't watched much Oilers hockey lately. Not because I'm sick of the losing. If that were the case I'd have quit a few seasons ago. I don't watch becasue I'm conflicted. Confused. Distraught, even. I watch the Oilers to cheer for the Oilers - I always have, through good teams and bad, cheered for the boys to win. Last night the Oilers played the Canucks, on TV, after my daughter's bedtime, with my wife out to do some shopping. In the past, this would have been a night devoted to hockey (and a certain level of silence you come to appreciate when you've got an energetic 5 year old). I stayed away for 2 periods, trying not to think about the game, or the score. I caved in time to watch the third and was surprised to see the Oilers up 2-1 and playing pretty solid hockey. Deven Dubnyk in net, playing well, in line for his first career win.

George : Hey, I just found twenty dollars! I tell you this, something is happening in my life. I did this opposite thing last night. Up was down, black was white, good was -
Jerry: Bad.
George : Day was -
Elaine : Night.
George : Yes!

But I couldn't cheer for the Oilers. I actually laughed when the Canucks tied the score. Not a happy laugh, just a "I totally knew that would happen laugh", a kind of releaved "I won't have to be disappointed about the win" laugh. What? I would have been disappointed if they won?

George : Alrighty. Ah ... my last job was in publishing ... I got fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman.

I gotta be honest, this dive for five thing is tough. As if to rub salt in the wound, young Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin were on the tube just prior to the Oilers game saying "look what we can do better than any other draft eleigible player in 2010". At least, that's what I thought they were saying. Might have been "Go Oilers Go", given they are among the few that wouldn't be excited by an Oilers top two choice.

George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!

You've got to think this is as bad as it gets for Oilers management. Apathy from the fans at best, outright rage at worst. The building last night was near silent. I'd imagine any time now those empty seats in the building become officially unsold and that sellout streak will end. I unsubscribed from the Oilers news e-mails yesterday. Tired of the spin on the losses - tired of caring too much to try to not care at all.

HAPPY FESTIVUS!

2009-12-23T10:07:00.002-07:00

Well, December 23rd is upon us. The aluminum pole has been taken out of the crawl space, very high strength to weight ratio, no tinsel to distract us, and now, for the Airing of Grievances:

I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Moreau - your team stinks! You're the captain of this mess. You couldn't captain a.............I've lost my train of thought.

Horcoff - $5.5million, $7million? Who cares when you're not playing worth a nickle. Buy a new shoulder.

Khabibulin......you couldn't......where's Khabibulin? DAMN IT!

Deslauriers - You're 6'4" - the net is 4' high. Do the math! Stop getting beaten over the shoulder!

Cogliano - put your shirt on and score some goals pretty boy.

O'Sullivan - WTF are you shooting at?

Comrie - you sickly little runt! Tamiflu, cold FX, Tylenol, check it out. The boss owns pharmacies for chrissakes!

Nillson - I wish you some consistency, I wish you some consistency, I wish you some consistancy, and a happy new haircut!

Pouliot - Pubis sounds made up to me!

Gilbert - pretend its preseason!

Souray - pretend its last year!

Penner, Vishnovsky - well, you're just Festivus Miracles!

Happy Holidays everyone.

Now, festivus doesn't end until someone pins me

Olympic Delight?

2009-10-23T09:45:00.003-06:00

Dustin Penner is having a start for the ages. After last nights game he described his feelings as "skyrockets in flight", a reference to the hilarious Anchorman Afternoon Delight scene - if you haven't seen it, check it out!
Right now, he's playing as complete a game as any forward in the league and looks to have turned a corner in his NHL career. He did a similar turnabout in the AHL in 05-06 when he went from a 28 point player to putting up 39 goals and 84 points in only 57 games. Dude looks like he can't be contained and as of today is the highest scoring Canadian winger in the NHL.
If in December Penner is still a point per game player, still driving wide past defenders, planting himself in front of the net, killing penalties, and basically looking like Oilers MVP, does his name begin to pop up in Team Canada conversations? I wonder how a line of Penner, Perry, and Getzlaf would look?

Training Camp for a 35 Year Old Beer Leaguer

2009-10-08T09:55:00.002-06:00

So, I spent 35 minutes on the wife's recumbent bike last night to prepare for the first game back between the pipes on Friday. The legs are a little stiff this morning, so today will be an optional workout:o) Snow on the ground this morning and the Flames and Oilers go at it again tonight and man it feels nice to have hockey back. I mean, baseball isn't bad but what's that Homer J quote after giving up beer? Something like "I never realized how boring this game really is".

So at some point today I'll drag the hockey bag down from the garage loft, unzip, and let the fowl odors escape - from the hockey bag!!! Take the blades out for their annual sharpening (I'm one of those goalies that likes to not mess with the skates much. If I can stand I can play - they get sharpened at the start of the season and again if I completely lose an edge). Settle in tonight to watch MacT give some Oilers insight while Khabibulin regains his rep as a Flames killer. Robbie Shremp suits up for the Islanders tonight for the first time as well. I was never much of a Shremp booster while he was Oilers property, but I can't help rooting for a goal from him tonight. I hope he does well - I'm willing to bet Steve Ludzig has him picked in a keeper league already:o) Speaking of which - I have 18 guys going in my pool tonight! Come on you 18 sonsabitches! Well, except for you Oli Jokinen - take the night off.

On a sad note, I haven't touched this blog in 2 months. I opened it up this morning and saw that I've cracked the ever elusive 10,000 hit total. Over 2000 hits since I last updated. Some of you out there have actually been checking to see if I've written anything, or at least one person has some 2000 times. Here's the number for the Alberta Mental Health Board Hotline - 1-877-303-2642. Someone there can help you.

Let's Go Oilers!

Oh, and what the hell is with the contest to come up with a cheer for the Canadian Olympic Team? Is 'Go Canada Go' not acceptable? Just watch some variation on EH! EH! EH! be picked as the winner.

Odds and Ends

2009-07-20T08:52:00.002-06:00

* Dennis Grebeshkov's arbitration date has been set for July 29th in TO. I suspect he settles before that date on a new contract with the Oilers. The reason, James Wisniewski. He put up 24 points in half a season split between Chicago and Anaheim last season and signed a new deal worth $2.75m. He's the Oilers ace in the hole and could drag Greb's award down below $3mil for next season. I wouldn't look past Keith Yandle's 30 points and $1.2mil cap hit either. Chances are slim this gets to that point - I'm betting a one or two year deal at $3mil per is on the horizon.

* Did Jack Johnson just become a whole lot more interesting? Rumors of his involvment in a trade involving Sheldon Souray swirled around the draft. One concern though was Johnson apparent belief that he was worth close to $5mil per season. Many speculated that he'd actually sign a deal for around $3mil per. Well, news from capgeek shows Jack Johnson signing a 2 year deal with a $1.425mil cap hit. Although I'd be weary of trading Souray - that deal has become much more intriguing based on cap relief alone. It also means Ladi Smid should forget about making anything close to $1.5mil per season - he's Johnson without the upside.

* Are the Oilers trying to light a fire under Dany Heatley? I know, that's terrible (groan)

Not Hockey Related Whatsoever

2009-07-10T10:49:00.004-06:00

My daughter is the troublemaker in the green hat. Sometimes it's best to remember what's really important - like your family and their happiness. These might be the dog days of summer for hockey, but for anyone with a family - especially young children - they should be the best days of your life. Hope everyone is having a great summer.

How Many Sutters Can a Sutter Brother Hire if a Sutter Brother Could Hire Sutters?

2009-06-24T13:30:00.011-06:00

So Darryl Sutter just made it official yesterday and hired his brother Brent to coach the Calgary Flames - apparently, Brent is a better coach than Darryl, but the elder brother remains in the top four worldwide.

Let's take a look at the Sutters now employed in the Flames organiztion:

Darryl Sutter - GM

Brent Sutter - Head Coach

Duane Sutter - Director of Player Personell

Ron Sutter - Pro Scout

Brett Sutter - Minor League Player

Juan Sutter (pronounced Huh-wan) - Team Massuese

Juanita Sutter - Team "Massuese" (happy endings specialist)

Jimbo Sutter - Concession Condiment Replenishment Specialist

Billy and Bobby Sutter - Sutter Farm Liasons

Hypocrisy, Thy Name is Burke

2009-06-17T15:06:00.003-06:00

So, Brian Burke has weighed in on the Dany Heatly trade request - he doesn't like it.

From TSN:

In a phone interview with Deb Placey and Billy Jaffe on NHL Live! broadcast on the NHL network, Burke stated that the Leafs had no interest in the two-time 50 goal scorer, largely because of the way he has chosen to handle his trade request.

"We're not going to be in on that," Burke stated. "He's a good player but I have certain guidelines on how players ask for trades."

While Burke stated that he has no problem with players requesting a trade, he was unhappy with Heatley's decision to go public with his request, thus making Senators' general manager Bryan Murray's chances of moving the sniper extremely difficult.

"For a player to pop off and say he wants out or leak it (to the media), in my mind you are now no longer interested in your team. If you've done that you've handicapped them, you've handcuffed your GM."

Chis Pronger was not available for comment.

Missed the Hall of Fame by "That Much"

2009-06-14T21:10:00.005-06:00

This is Chris Osgood losing his net on Maxime Talbot seconds before the Penguins Cup winning goal was scored on Friday night. He's overplaying Talbot to the stick side based on scouting reports that Talbot likes to shoot high over the blocker. He just overplayed the overplay - and Talbot has a clear view of about 12 square feet of net. Now if the shot was going blocker side, even2 or 3 feet wide of the blocker side, Osgood is making that stop:o) But Talbot, even though Malkin thinks "His hands not so good", ain't no beer leaguer - he see's that much net - he's hitting it - preference to the other side or not. So Osgood, for that split second, loses his net, loses the cup, and quite possibly, loses the Hall of Fame.

For the record, I think Osgood is deserving of a Hall nod. He is the most under-rated goalie of his generation. Sure, the guy has played on some great teams in Detroit, but he's also played a few seasons on some not so great New York Islanders and St. Louis teams. Osgood has now played 16 NHL seasons and has never, never, had a losing record. He had 23 wins and 8 losses in his rookie year, unfortunately for him, Brodeur had 27 wins (and 11 losses) and won the Calder (I believe Jason Arnott was 2nd in rookie voting that year, Osgood 3rd....but i can't find that info anywhere). In 1996, he finished with an incredible record of 39w, 6L, 5T and was robbed of the Vezina Trophy by the Net Detective Jim Carrey's 35W, 24L, 9T record. He's got three Stanley Cups, 2 as a starter. He's one of only 2 goalies to win Cups as the starter 10 years apart - Terry Sawchuck is the other. He's 4th in career playoff wins, 10th in the regular season. Of course stats alone don't neceessarily translate into the Hall of Fame. I'm not even sure what the standards for goalies are? Look at Harry Lumley and Eddie Giacomin's stats and wonder what got them there. Esposito is in the Hall with 400+ wins and no Cups - does that mean Ed Belfour(1 cup - thanks Bruce) and Curtis Joseph (zero) should be as well? Who knows? There's not a ton of Goalies in the Hall so I guess you really have to be a standout to be elected. And there's a few goalies in recent history with similar stats to Osgood that aren't in the Hall. Tom Barasso and Mike Vernon both had stellar careers and similar wins totals to Osgoods current 389. Both have 2 Cups. But both have about 60 more losses on their records than Osgood. Andy Moog and Martin Brodeur* are the only 2 other goalies I can think of that have 3 cups and aren't in the Hall of Fame (*yet). But Andy Moogs Cups (save for the first one) came largely from the bench - even in 1984, he only got into 7 games. Moogs regular season totals are very similar to Osgood's - the only thing that seperates them are those 2 Cups Osgood won as a starter. There are no goalies that have won 4 or more Cups that aren't in the Hall. So if Osgood makes that save on Talbot, if he doesn't step one foot too far to the right, and the Wings come back to win that game - does that make Chris Osgood a Hockey Hall of Fame goaltender? If not, why not? Because he played for the powerhouse Wings? Well, Chris Osgood took over for Bob Essensa when he faltered in Detroit. He did the same thing in the playoffs some 15 years later when Domic Hasek couldn't carry the load for the talented Wings. In between, Curtis Joseph couldn't get it done for Detroit in the playoffs. Billy Smith is a HOFer - did he not have the luxury of playing for a powerhouse team? He's got some stinker years on his resume too - Osgood doesn't. How about my all time favorite player Grant Fuhr? Any doubt his wins weren't bouyed a little by playing for the 80's Oilers? Ken Drydens teams weren't half bad either. Patrick Roy? Not a lot of teams out there that had the talent level of Sakic, Forsberg and company. Take a look at every goaltending stat and Osgood lands in the discussion in every one. The Hall of Fame should be part of that discussion as well.

Great Moments in Marketing

2009-06-09T09:41:00.005-06:00

From "SavetheCoyotes.com",

Gotta love the empty arena in the background....Genius!

Mom.....What's a First Line Centre?

2009-06-04T14:41:00.003-06:00

Is it a guy who scores 53 points and outscores the oppositions best by 10 goals, or is it a guy who scores 85 points but gives up more than he gets (save for pretty goals and pretty girls?)

I'm confused.

Probability Taken Personally

2009-05-12T11:17:00.008-06:00

There is a theory in the blogospehere that pucks hitting goalposts are just unlucky. Everything in the game of hockey can be explained by mathematics and statistical analysis, but goalposts, well they're just the hockey gods spittin' in your eye. Some of the arguments for this theory can be found here and here. I don't buy it. Basically, what I understand from these articles, is that teams success or lack thereof correlates well to the number of posts the team hits. Those teams that hit a tonne of posts are unlucky - you can expect them to turn things around. Those that have a lot of posts hit behind they're goalie - well, don't bet the farm on them. It's a ridiculous argument and some of the sharpest writers on the net subscribe to it wholeheartedly. L. Ron Hubbard must be involved somehow. Can you take one element of the game and contribute it to luck? Yet ignore that every goal for or against in every game would not be suject to luck as well? How many goals are scored on tipped shots? How many go in off defenders sticks or skates? Might there be a few that don't really end up where the shooter was intending? They count anyway right? Has a goalie ever had a shot hit him that he didn't see? Has a linesman ever gotten involved in a play? Take 1000 darts and throw them at triple 20. Are the ones that bounce off the wire the only shots where luck was invloved? How about 1000 three foot puts? The ones that miss the hole are misses, but the ones that rim out are bad luck? Or could it be that rimming out means you missed the cup by hair wider than the radius of the ball? A hair you say....wow, that's some shitty luck.
There's a very good reason why posts aren't counted as shots on goal - they missed the net. There is litterally a hair width difference between a puck nicking the post or going wide. That same hair could mean the difference between the puck hitting the post and going in, or hitting both posts and staying out. How does one have more impact on a game than the other?
The NHL records goalposts in it's game logs and that has allowed data to be mined out and tabulated. I think it's unfortunate. I'd like to see how many teams miss the net by millimeters. Is there a significant difference in the amount of luck involved relative to the shot that hits the post? How about lucky goals? Has a team ever hit the post and scored a lucky goal in the same game, and do they negate each other?
Anyone see Chuck Kobasew's goal against Cam Ward last night? Patrice Bergeron's pass missed the defenders skate by an inch, Kobasew flubbed what looked like an attempt to tip the puck over Ward, the puck hit the heel of his stick and slid in along the ice nicking the post on the way in.....goal - no luck accounted for. That puck hits the post and all of a sudden, there's a luck event, let's tabulate it. Ridiculous.

The Forgotten Man

2009-04-29T20:45:00.003-06:00

Which NHL coach has ties to both Steve Tambellini(Vancouver) and Kevin Lowe(New York), has extensive NHL coaching experince, has won a championship, runs a good bench with an offense first mentality, and is a little bit of a hardass who might also be looking for work in coming weeks?

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

High Expectations

2009-04-21T11:26:00.005-06:00

So, who thinks Hemsky and Penner have better season offensively next year? What about Horcoff? Anyone? We don't even know who the coach is yet - but I'd bet some of you (all 10 of my readers - thanks Mom) raised your hand, or at least nodded knowingly.
I think the complaint that most fans had about MacTavish, whether winning or losing, was that he couldn't coach offensive players. Fact is, he asked his offensive guys to also be responsible defensively and favored a 2 way game. Did it limit the counting numbers of a player like Hemsky - I think it's fairly safe to say it did. But MacTavish would prefer to have a 70 point outscorer than a 90 point giveth and taketh away guy (or should that be taketh and giveth away?) Hemsky himself vented about it near the end of the season - if the new coach turns him loose does he hit 90 points in 09-10?
What about Penner - were the fat jokes hurting his production? probably not. But being left off the PP and playing with MacIntyre certainly did. Does a new coach turn a blind eye to the occasional lazy backcheck and burger wrappers in the dressing room? Does that coax 30 goals out of Refridgerator Penner?
And Shawn Horcoff - new extension in hand next season. How is he used? We've seen Horcoff under MacTavish put up near point per game numbers. Last season, with no other defensivley capable centers, Horcoff wasn't let loose. He had to play in a ton of D first situations, and it IMO wore him down. That's not on the coach - not totally. Can Horcoff put up good numbers again next season if a faceoff man and penalty killer is brought in to shoulder some of that burden?
Is there any pressure on the new coach? And yeah, the playoffs would be nice.

Happiness

2009-04-15T17:58:00.002-06:00

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day. I think I can make it now, the pain is gone All of the bad feelings have disappeared Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day. Look all around, there’s nothin?but blue skies Look straight ahead, nothin?but blue skies I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day.

Alone on an Island?

2009-04-08T14:41:00.002-06:00

Another failed season in the books and save for the glory that was the spring of 2006, the Oilers are now into their 19th year of futility. That's a long damn time. The last time I watched the Oilers hoist the Stanley I was in grade 10....grade 10! Wow. Now we've still got a long road to get to Toronto levels but the comparisons are beginning to creep in, how the Oilers have become the Leafs of the West - with the one difference of course being everyone wants to play for the Leafs! And in some ways you can see why the notion of another 20+ years of hockey free Junes is becomming a concern. But when I look at this team I don't see the Leafs, I see the Islanders, and that's scary.

The similarities between the franchises are many, not just the use of blue and orange. The Isles, like the Oilers, tasted success early and rode a lineup of young supreme talents and older smart veterans to a dynasty. Owners burrying hockey profits into other money losing ventures saw the talent bases erode and once proud franchises began to lose, and lose alot.

The mid to late 90's weren't pretty for either team, more losses, ownership changes, and the beginnings of the Mad and Vish eras. Mike Milbury went from ex NHL D-man(in Boston) to assistant coach to head coach, to GM. Kevin Lowe, well, pretty much did the exact same thing. Both men were active traders, with varried results, although Kevin Lowe could probably trade Chris Pronger for Joffrey Lupul 3 or 4 more times and still have the better track record overall. Neither man was given a competitive budget to work with (prior to the new CBA) and both franchises were in a constant state of turnover. Both men have a made headlines for insulting peers, with Lowe's "moron" and Milbury's "village idiot" being among the most notable rants.

After Charles Wang bought the Islanders, Milbury eventually moved into a Senior Vice President position of Wang's sports holdings, although he appeared to still have his hand in the day to day Islanders dealings. After Darryl Katz, Kevin Lowe, well, again, pretty much the exact same thing. Wang is trying to get his Lighthouse Project moving in order to get a new building for the Isles and revitalization of the surrounding area....and there's this rumor in Edmonton about Katz and his desire for a new arena? Not sure if anyone else has heard anything? Milbury eventually resigned from his position saying he missed the everyday hockey decisions. Kevin Lowe - well a fella can hope right?:o)

I'm telling you, we're this far (I'm holding my index finger and thumb ever so close together) away from hiring Kari Takko and Pokey Reddick to run this team - and scouting Sumo wrestlers to replace Roloson.

Speaking of Bad Career Moves....

2009-04-03T13:16:00.004-06:00

Is selling a "performance enhancing" energy drink really the best choice for Lance Armstong? Really?

Is "cheetah" in his future plans?

Maybe he can do an add telling everyone how great it is to have 2 testicles ala Rick Hanson telling Canada that getting in shape is easy - just try hiking or taking your family out for a walk. Am I just that cynical, or does no one think anymore?

The Brian Burke Effect?

2009-04-01T09:38:00.002-06:00

Or is it the Chris Pronger effect? Maybe association with Cory Perry? Perhaps it's just living in So-Cal (I hate that BTW - why can't people say Southern California? I don't live in Nor-Al and I didn't grow up in Wes-Newf!, but I digress). Whatever it is, somewhere along the way, Teemu Selane turned into an asshole of grade A proportions - witness his comments following last nights failed stick measurement - "Whoever thought he spotted it, maybe should have signed the stick for him." You're all class Selanne, all class!

The Wrong Weir?

2009-03-27T08:35:00.003-06:00

I think the Oilers are channeling the wrong Weir in their pursuit (or lack thereof) of a playoff spot. Even looks like Mike is demonstrating the position the boys assumed last night. Brutal Effort.

Moving Sucks

2009-03-23T13:45:00.003-06:00

So, we moved. We built a new house and sold our old one (I highly recommend buying a house in this real estate market - selling one though, not so much). Anyways, after selling and moving into a rental for the 1st time in 10 years, we finally moved into the new abode one month ago - I haven't relaxed since. We moved on a Wednesday, I do not recommend moving on a Wednesday. Friends are working, baby sitters are in school, and help is not to be found. If you want to get help with a move, you have to leave little room for excuses from those who can help. Wednesday is an automatic excuse generator - "Ah shit man, I'm working. Too bad, I could have helped with the heavy stuff".

One thing you realize when you move is how much shit you have. Moving is the ultimate time to purge. Clothes that don't fit anymore (stupid dryer shrinking my pants), cassette tapes of Europe and Duran Duran, what was I thinking when I bought this lamp, and so it goes. All these gently used, dust gathering gizmos and garb go to garage sales, or Goodwill, or garbage. Boxes upon boxes of Stuff that cost you thousands of dollars over the years that you are happy to give away or even ecstatic to sell for $100 after spending $20 on an ad in the paper and sitting in your garage for an entire Saturday while strangers pick through what are your former prized possessions. When we moved from our old house to our rental, we purged and purged good! And even after that, we have got a lot of shit. Clothes, toys, furniture, tools - heavy furniture, heavy tools! Lets face it, we live in a society of stuff - it's nice to have it, it's nice to be able to afford it, it's everywhere. And when you buy the latest stuff, it's soon to be replaced with even better stuff. But carrying that stuff sucks. Packing it up in boxes and blankets sucks. Not knowing which box the forks are in the day before you move sucks. Not knowing which box the extension cord is in the week after you move sucks. Taking stuff apart sucks. Putting it back together after carrying it piece by piece from point A to point B, sucks. Buying new stuff for the new house is fun - carrying it home, unpacking it, and puting it together - sucks, sucks, and sucks. Painting a bedroom in the new house - sucks. Insulating and finishing the garage - guess what - sucks too.

I've still got to install the central vac, and water softner, paint one of the bathrooms, finish the garage loft, install the garage heater, deck, landscape, fence - I'm expecting suckage on most parts.

But the new house is awesome:o) And I'm starting to watch a few games again!

You Were Expecting a Happy Ending?

2009-03-11T08:38:00.002-06:00

So, the Edmonton Oilers rolled into Montreal last night needing a victory to go over .500 for the trip (Gary Betman .500 that is) and put some distance between themselves and 9th. They thumped the Habs in their last meeting, just beat the Leafs, put that fat guy in the pressbox, and still had the good sense to not fire their coach so as to not mess with a good formula ala Montreal! Guaranteed win night right?

Well, not so much. The night was frustrating on so many levels it makes one wonder why so much emotion is inveted in this team. The Habs get a fluke goal early when the point shot goes of Staios' skate in front and bounces right to Tanguays stick in the slot. The frustrating part about that one is how Debrusk pointed out constantly how Roli has to do a better job controlling that rebound - you know, those rebounds off shots that don't reach you just have to be controlled!

Anyways, the Oil take the lead, the 4th line plays the entire third period, yada yada yada, and late in the third the Habs tie the game on what is obviously a puck batted into the net with Koivu's glove. Koivu's quote regarding the goal, "It hit my chest and I don't know if it hit my glove after that,"is proof positive enough for me to know it was illegal. Anytime a player scores and "doesn't know" if he scored it legally or not....well lets just say he knows and leave it at that. Carey Price makes a few nice saves in the third, but realizing Horcoff couldn't bury a dead cat in a sandbox of late, maybe the saves weren't that great.

Then, the Oilers get a powerplay with just over two minutes remaining and you know that barring a shortie from the Habs, this game is going to OT - and sure enough, the Canadiens almost score. The penalty to O'sullivan comes in OT and you just know there was no way the Oilers escape the loss.

Honestly, were you expecting fair calls, Oilers powerplay goals, strong Oilers penalty kills, and a Bob Gainey loss in his first night behind the bench? I'm surprised they didn't take the OT point away!

A Prick of Oil

2009-02-27T13:24:00.003-07:00

Sean Avery is a loud mouth, disruptive tool. He's as self centered and as arrogant as a player can be. He may in fact have a mental problem. But he might be exactly what the Oilers need. According to TSN, Avery will be placed on re-entry waivers on Monday with being claimed by the New York Fonzerangers the likely scenario. I wonder how much Torterella is looking forward to coaching the "selfish ass", as he described him earlier in the year during his stint with TSN?
Unless some other team does Torts a favor and puts in a claim before the Rangers, he's going to find out.
After watching last nights game against Colombus though, maybe Tambelinni is thinking that a little Asshole is exactly what this team could use.
Outside all the other stuff, Avery is a useful player. He obviously didn't fit in with the Stars - what with those super small teeth and overpriced contract and such, but it's hard to deny his contributions to the Rangers. During his NY stint, their record was 50-20-10 with him in the lineup and 9-13-3 without him. Now of course not all of that is on Avery alone, but there had to be something to it right? A team getting Avery at half the cost and on a "good behavior" watch from the league, is likely getting a deal. I'm sure letting Dallas pay for a portion of a players salary is tempting to the Oilers brass as well.
I'm not saying the Oilers should claim him, but if there isn't a ton of research and discussion regarding this player between today and Monday, management is not doing their job. On a team in desperate need of a shakeup, is there any player available right now with a greater ability to shake?

Where's The "Eyeroll" Button?

2009-02-25T11:23:00.003-07:00

This is a solution?

I'm investing all my money in Sharp Sticks.
I have a suspicion sales could escalate.

Les Frogitants

2009-02-12T11:04:00.004-07:00

I became an Oilers fan around about 1980 - all of 6 years old. Had me a little blue and orange Oilers jersey, the kind with no logo on the front - I don't know what's up with that. Wayne Gretzky was my hero - and I'm sure more than a few of those $1000 rookie cards ended up in the front spokes of my bike. In the next few years, Grant Fuhr replaced Wayne as my fovorite player. I had been a goalie, and I had always had that weird "wrong handed" stance, as John Garrett would call it - so Fuhr fit the bill perfectly. I didn't get to see them much, and I always got shuffled off to bed early during Oilers games (damn Newfoundland time zone), but I loved them. I can't remember ever rooting for another team (although I had an NHL coloring book and I thought the Colorado Rockies unis, well, rocked). I was a bit of an oddball in that way - everyone in my family was a Habs fan, except for one Bruins rooting uncle. All my friends were Habs fans - stupid friends. No one ever admitted to being a Leafs fan in the early 80's - although I'm sure they were out there searching for Dougie Gilmore. But Oilers fans in small town Newfoundland in the 80s were hard to come by. I didn't have a second favorite. Never understood the concept - you have a favorite and the others. A second favorite team is like having a partially finished basement - it's finished, or it isn't. So there was no second favorite - but there was a most hated. I can't stand the Montreal Canadiens. I've cheered for the Flames to win a series twice in my life - and then recreated the shower scene from The Crying Game as soon as those series were over, but I didn't want Montreal to win.

A lot of the problems I had with the Habs of course stem from the abuse I took from my family and friends for being an Oilers fan. Now I can understand my older uncles growing up in the 60's in NFLD cheering for the best team in hockey, and the one other guy falling for Bobby Orr. But it's the friends that really stuck in my craw! How could someone my age look me in the eye and say "only 21 more to go" after the Oilers won their first cup? How? How can you cling to something that you've never experienced? I don't even like the Oilers fans "5-1" chirping with regards to Flamers - but at least I lived through that era and witnessed those teams. If my daughter said that to someone, after the initial swell of pride, I'd feel compelled to whack her upside the head. It's like someone arguing a K-Car is better than a Maserati because they sold more of them - it's insane. but it keeps coming back to the same thing with Habs fans - 24 Cups, 24 Cups. As bad as Leafs fans are, I've never, ever, had one throw out the "13 Cups" arguement - ever.

The Canadiens had the French player advantage over the rest of the league, they seemed to always have the officials in their back pockets, and they (not the Devils) were the originators of the score first and quit trying style of hockey that so many people hated - they were Minnesota before Minnesota was Wild so to speak.

So I will not apologize for the fact that I took a great amount of joy in last nights thumping of the Habs. I wish they would have made Price cry - turn him into a blubbering idiot right there on the blue ice. Take out his knee like Plekanic did to Grebs.

Put that in your meat sandwhich and smoke it!

"G-Rod" Tells All.

2009-02-09T21:15:00.004-07:00

His voice shaking at times, Wayne Gretzky met head-on allegations that he tested positive for drugs twenety years ago, telling TSN on Monday that he did take male-enhancing drugs while playing for the Los Angeles Kings during a seven-year period beginning in 1989.

"When I arrived in LA in 1988, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day," Gretzky told Geno Reda in an exclusive interview in Pheonix, Az.

"Back then, [hockey] was a different culture," Gretzky said. "It was very loose. I was young. I was stupid. I was sexy. I was blonde. Glenn Anderson was my room mate. I had a mullet. My wife was in Police Academy 3. And I wanted to prove to everyone that I was worth being married to one of the greatest actresses of all time.

"I did take a banned substance. And for that, I am very sorry and deeply regretful."

In his first prime-time news conference, President Barack Obama called Gretzky's admission "depressing" news.

"And if you're a fan of Ice Hockey, like most politically inclined, tall, skinny black men are, I think it tarnishes an entire era, to some degree," Obama said. "And it's unfortunate, because I think there were a lot of hockeyplayers who played it straight." Obama giggled at his own useage of the word straight, pointed to his own crotch, and used his fingers to indicate a distance of 15 inches.

Gary Bettman had no comment Monday. Former Kings owner Bruce McNall said Gretzky's admission caught him by surprise.

"I feel personally betrayed. I feel deceived by Wayne, I don't like deception" McNall said from his prison cell, according to The Associated Press. "He assured me that he had far too much respect for his own body to ever do that to himself. ... I certainly don't believe that if he's now admitting that he started using when he came to the Kings, why should I believe that it didn't start before he came to LA?"

Gretzky's admission comes 48 hours after The Hockey News reported that Gretzky was on a mailing list of 104 players who ordered enzyte from the "Smiling Bob" commercials , the year when the NHL conducted survey tests to see if mandatory, random drug-testing was needed in the sport.

Sources who know about the testing results told TSN that Gretzky tested positive for Enzyte, Viagra, Cialis, and Wendell Clarke. Surprisingly, he had the testosterone levels of a 12 year old girl. In his TSN interview, which his ex-teamate, Ron DuGuay, attended, Gretzky said he did not know exactly which substance or substances he had taken. In 1988, there were no penalties for a positive result.

Wayne Gretzky said he came clean Monday. But as Gene Principe notes, he further dirtied his sport, his reputation and his Hall of Fame chances. Principe had to be reminded that Gretzky is already a member of the hall of fame - he giggled at the use of the word member.

"Again, it was such a loosey-goosey era," Gretzky said. "I'm guilty for a lot of things. I'm guilty for being negligent, naive, not asking all the right questions of what Glenn kept slipping into my drinks. And to be quite honest, I don't know exactly what substance I was guilty of using."

A seven-time Hart Trophy winner, Gretzky blamed himself and his small penis and slight frame for his decision to use MEDs.

"I felt a tremendous pressure to perform, and perform really well" in LA, the Coyotes coach said. "I had just married this huge movie star... I felt like I needed something, a push, without over-investigating what I was taking, to get me to the next level."

Gretzky also said part of the reason he started using drugs was the heat in LA????

"Can I have an edge just to get out there and do it every day?" he said to himself. "You basically end up trusting the wrong people. You end up, you know, not being very careful about what you're ingesting."

Gretzky added: "I am sorry for my boner years. I apologize to the fans of LA."

Gretzky, who joined the Coyotes as coach for the 2005 season, said his years as a Yote "have been clean."

"Ask my wife," he said. "She hasn't had a child in years."

The Coyotes issued a statement.

"We urged Wayne to be completely open, honest and forthcoming in addressing his use of male-enhancing drugs," it read. "We take him at his word that he was. Although we are disappointed in the mistake he spoke to today, we realize that Wayne -- like all of us --is a man and wishes his penis were larger".

"We speak often about our members in this organization, and that is never more true than in times of adversity. Wayne took a big step by admitting his mistake, and while there is no condoning the use of Male-enhancing drugs, we respect his decision to take accountability for his actions. We support Wayne, and we will do everything we can to help him deal with this challenge."

Gretzky described the last days' turn of events as the biggest challenge of his life but added it felt good to be honest about what he's done in the past.

Tale Of The Tape

Wayne Gretzky came clean about taking male-enhancing drugs during a seven-year period beginning in 1989. Here's a look at Waynes-Rod's numbers during that time compared to the rest of his pro career:
'89-95 Other 10 Seasons
Children/season 2 0

"It's been a rough 15 months here for me," Wayne said.

He added: "I was stupid for seven years. I was very, very stupid" and, later said: "The more honest we can all be, the quicker we can get my penis [back] to where it needs to be."

"When you take this gorilla and this monkey and this chimpanzee, and this lemur off your back, you realize that honesty is the only way,"

Gretzky said. "I'm finally beginning to grow up. I'm pretty tired of being childish and selfish, you know, about my, talliwhaker. The truth needed to come out a long time ago. I'm glad it's coming out today."

He said he stopped using during training camp 1995, when he sustained a neck injury???
"It wasn't a real dramatic day once I arrived in LA that something monumental happened in my life," he said. "The point of the matter was that I started experimenting with things that today are not legal or today are not accepted and today you would get in a lot of trouble for."

He said the culture earlier this decade of taking male-enhancing substances was "prevalent." "There were a lot of people doing a lot of things," Gretzky said, noting that he wasn't specifically pointing out the Kings. But he added that "Bernie Nicholls was "hung like a horse"

Former Kings coach Barry Melrose expressed his surprise.

"It blindsided me. I've seen him in the shower. I had no reason to question him. He didn't look enhanced.

"It's going to be tough for him but I'm happy that he came out, faced the music and took responsibility for it."

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report - although absolutely none of it is true. Aren't you glad hockey isn't baseball?

Loweball

2009-01-28T21:05:00.007-07:00

There's a lot of talk of Sabermetrics and Moneyball amongst the Oilers blogs. The basic premise of these is the use of advanced statistics, beyond typical boxscore numbers, to evaluate a players true value to his team. Moneyball was a book about Billy Beane's Oakland A's and their use of the principals of sabremetrics to outsmart conventional subjective wisdom amongst Beane's peers. Part of Beane's success in Oakland has been his ability to sell high. He traded pitchers Tim Hudson and Mark Mulder near the peaks of their careers and kept on rollin'. He has the ability to demand a ransom, get top prospects and serviceable players in return, and keep the A's competitive and on budget. He might be a bigger dickhead than most GMs (that's an accomplishment in and of itself), but he's proven to be a good one. If nothing else, he was ahead of the sabre-curve, being the first of what has now become many GM's that employ sabremetrics analysts.

Anyhoo, one of the Beane-James gang in the oilogosphere is Tyler of MC79hockey.com. I imagine if he ran a hockey team there would be a rate of turnover amongst players that would be alarming to the general fan population. One deal that would have been made last season was the trading of Matthieu Garon. I remember Tyler posting on several occasions that the Oilers should trade Garon at the deadline. Last season, Garon appeared to be emerging as a legit #1 goaltender who couldn't be scored against in the shootout. Now trades for starting goaltenders don't seem to happen all that often (Roberto Luongo notwithstanding), and scouring my memory banks I really can't think of many teams trading for a new #1 mid season or otherwise. Roli to the Oilers for a 1st round pick jumps to mind. Andrew Raycroft to the Leafs for a highly touted prospect. Manny Fernandez for perennial allstar Peter Kalus. Jose Theodore and David Aebisher were traded for each other. Thomas Vokoun got a 1st and two 2nd's from the Panthers. Biron went to the Flyers for a 2nd, Chris Mason was had for a 4th, and Roberto Luongo (the NHL's best goatender) for a bag of pucks - twice. Kiprusoff was an unknown commodity and a stopgap measure for the Flames so his trade value was next to nothing when he was moved as well. So - who did I miss? I definately don't see much of a pattern there other than the Panthers should be the preferred trading partner of every other team in the league and the Avs haven't had a goalie since Patrick Roy was wearing his wife beater under a Colorado sweater. Returns for starting goalies appear to be all over the board and based on team desperation and manager IQ more than anything else. But there may be something to Tylers belief that Garon should have been sent out last season at the deadline. There were a few teams that would have shilled for a goalie that was stealing wins on a regular basis. The afore named Avs perhaps, having already taken Tommy Salo off our hands, could have been fleeced again. Washington and Tampa were both looking for goalie help (oh yeah, Mike Smith - forgot about him), and Ottawa really stands out as the team that didn't have it's goalie shit together. So the market wasn't huge, but the return may have been a 1st or top prospect from the Sens and or a 2nd from some of the others? I don't know much about Ryan Stone, but he's likely not worth a 1st or 2nd draft choice, and the fact that the Oilers had to take a goalie back in the trade shows that there was a least a little negative value in the Garon return as well.

So, the Oilers held onto Garon, didn't make the playoffs, didn't extend Garon, signed JDD, created a three goalie situation, ruined Garon's confidence, took away his playing a practice time, eroded what little trade value he did have, and then moved him. Is this Anti-moneyball? Can we call it Loweball?

I hope Sabourin likes Long Island

2009-01-20T20:21:00.002-07:00

DiPietro Out

Dubielewicz Claimed from Islanders

Sabourin Waived

can we connect the dots?

Shouldn't a trade have been available here?

Vinny

2009-01-12T11:49:00.004-07:00

Would you try to land him? And who would it take to get him?

Bruce Would be Proud

2009-01-06T08:42:00.003-07:00

Got to my first game of the season last night, and boy I can see why those tickets were easy to come by - what a snoozer. Biggest cheer of the night was for the TSN broadcast of the Canada victory. Horcoff, to my eye, had one of his worst nights in memory - brutal giveaway in the 1st to put the Islanders up 1-0, and not much else to atone for that mistake. The only positive of the night for the Oilers was the play of the 4th line - Stortini in particular. At one point in the 2nd I leaned over to my wife (The first game we were able to attend together since Samsonov's home debut vs. Calgary back in '06 - another 3-2 victory for the good guys as I recall - seems she's a bit of a good luck charm) and said "Stortini needs to do something here to get the team fired up - a hit, a fight, someth"...........SCORES. Stortini threw the puck into the crease and it was 2-1 Islanders and the building had a little life. A few minutes later, Stortini makes a real nice play from behind the net and it's a tie game. I imagine Bruce had a big ole smile on his face.

Funny note from last night - the Oilers played a real nice little tribute for Doug Weight and thanked him for his community service during his tenure as an Oiler. A few minutes later, a stat on the scoreboard shows "Former Oilers Doug Weight and Bill Guerin currently sit 2 and 3 in Islanders scoring" - no mention the entire night of boobird favorite Mike Comrie. I guess the wound is still too fresh!

I Believe the Term is Batshit Crazy

2008-12-20T20:28:00.007-07:00

This is my neck - the result of a hard rising slapshot from the top of the circle that I had come out hard on to cut down the angle. We were already losing - badly - as most of my team decided to show up for last nights game (our last game prior to the Christmas break) drunk, or stoned, or both.
Scary feeling to have your neck go numb - but after a five minute rest looking up at the rafters through a ring of players whispering about my new purple friend - and the offer to call the game as it was already way out of reach - I stepped back between the pipes. The very next shot went dead center between my eyes. Fuck it, I made two saves!

It's Not Good to Bottle Your Feelings

2008-12-15T21:23:00.004-07:00

Remember that time you cut my skate laces in Edmonton? Huh, remember when everyone was laughing at me when my lace broke and I was late for practice and coach made me do laps? Huh, remember that? And all those stupid penalties in the playoffs - I mean come on, penalty after penalty - if it's a hook in the first it's a hook in the third! Didn't you read anything about the crackdown on obstruction. So you can't stay out of the box for one goddam minute and then, then, to top it all off, you run Andrew Ladd into Roli - Andrew Ladd! Could you have picked a bigger guy? I mean jesus, you cost me the Cup man - do you know how many Winchester's have their names on the cup? My Mom had T-shirts made and everything......and now I'm stuck playing for the Blues - how long do think it'll take to get a second shot at the Cup with the Blues huh? Huh? Broke my Mom's heart man - and nobody breaks Mom's heart!

Justice

2008-12-05T20:21:00.004-07:00

So, OJ Simpson finally gets his due. Depending on which legal expert you listen to, his complicated sentence consisting of concurrent and consecutive terms will keep him in prison for somewhere between 7 and 15 years before parole.
If nothing else good can come from this, at least OJ's odds of finding the real killers have to be a bit higher in prison than on the golf course.
Hopefully OJ gets plenty of professional help - Analyst and Therapist types - I believe their known as Analrapists on the inside.

MacT's Lost the 'Sphere

2008-11-27T08:52:00.003-07:00

Craig MacTavish is under fire. He has been since before the Stanley run in '06. Talk radio types have been calling for his head for years. But through it all, he's been steadfastly defended from 2 very distinct corners - Oilers Management and the Oilogosphere. Bloggers tend to love MacT - he's a smart man obviously, a smart coach, and a great quote. When the hoards rant that he ruins young players and can't coach talent, the generally level headed fans in the 'sphere defend. Point to a player that's gone on to have success after leaving MacTavish's side - outside of Cleary, who credits MacT for much of his turnaround. MacTavish took the most talented team he's been given to the Finals in '06 - three series were won on what was largely better game planning than the opposing coach.

Fast forward to 2008. Garon is on the bench, Gagner is killing penalties, Cole and Pisani playing out of position, and now Smid is a forward while last years Coaches Pet sits in the pressbox to watch 2 AHLers and a D-man play the 4th line minutes. I don't know if he's lost the ear of his team, but it appears the Coach has lost the 'Sphere.

Quotes from LT's GDT:
*I can't believe they're playing Strudwick over Smid. That's more senseless a decisionthan Gagner taking a PK shift or Garon not playing - Slipper

*Well you know I think they've quit on the coach. He's lost them. That's honestly how I feel, and anyone reading this blog knows there's a MacT bias. - Lowetide

*If that's the best they can come up with on home ice after 5 days rest, it's time for a change. This formula isn't working.....I can't explain half the stuff he's been doing, to be honest with you. More than half ... and I'm a MacT guy, trying hard to see the logic behind early season experimentation. - Bruce

*I've never been one to throw this out lightly but it honestly looks like a lot of guys have checked out mentally....It might be time for somebody to go and maybe both Peeters and MacT can fly to fuck. - Dennis

MacT's days would seem to be numbered.

So We Didn't Get a D-man in the Pronger Deal?

2008-11-20T15:01:00.003-07:00

Laddy Smid moves up to the left wing slot from his normal D position against the Red Wings tonight. Pretty sure this is done to goad people into purchasing the PPV, because I can think of no other reason for it. Wasn't Strudwick advertised as a D-man who can play the wing? Couldn't he add toughness to the wing position? Would it not make more sense to do this little experiment agaisnt someone other than the Red Wings? How the hell is Smid going to win the Norris playing left wing?

Retro?

2008-11-19T10:15:00.011-07:00

So, what's up with 08 anyway. We've got a new Get Smart movie, a new 90210, and a new Knight Rider (Hasselhoff free thankfully), new AC/DC, Metalica, and Guns N Roses(*more on this later) albums -when was the last time those three bands all released in the same year? We've got an upcoming Friday the 13th remake, and apparently Logan's Run, Conan the Barbarian, Hellraiser, and Death Wish all in the works. Claude Lemieux is attempting a comeback, apparently Henry Burris is the star of a new Blazing Saddles movie, and Dwayne Roloson is the Oilers starting goaltender.

Coming into last season the Oilers had Roloson coming off a fairly strong season on a very weak team as the incumbent starter with Matthieu Garon his newly signed backup. The plan was to have Garon play 25 or so games to rest off Roli - something the coaching staff was never confident enough to let Markanen do the year before. After a few early shaky starts, Garon emerged as the go to guy, buoyed by his unbelievable shootout performances, snatching the starting job from Roli and running with it until he seemed to run out of gas late in the year (we found out later that he had been playing through injury).

Coming into this season, the roles were reversed with JDD thrown in the mix just to make things a little more complicated. Garon was the number 1 with Roli and Deslauries expected to fight it out for the backup role. If Deslauries proved worthy then Roloson would likely be dealt for a bag of pucks at some point in the season if a taker could be found. Now, 20 games in and Roloson has more starts than the other two and shows no signs of giving the job back to Garon yet.

Lots of theories out there as to why this has happened, ranging from illness to injury to MacTavish just liking Roloson more. I don't really buy any of those. I just think Garon has done now in Edmonton what he's done in Montreal and LA in the past. He doesn't inspire confidence in his coaches. I especially don't buy the "likeability" argument. For one, Roloson is a cantankerous old prick so Garon can't be any worse. And two, didn't Garon take Roloson's job last year and get played by MacTavish to the point that it was obvious he was in need of a break? He also didn't look great in that first win of the year as the Oilers starter and came right back for games two and three. I speculated in a post below that his confidence is shot and he's become the victim of the three headed monster in the crease for the Oilers. I don't think he has the mental makeup of a starting goaltender - he's too easily threatened by the competition, and as soon as the "you win you play" tactics started, his game went south. He's got all the physical tools for sure, so why has he never stuck as a starter? I like Garon and hope he rebounds but he needs to get in and have one hell of a game to stick and I'm not sure he's wired that way - Roloson seems to be the exact opposite and I can see why he's succeeding. As for JDD - the poor guy gets the short end of the development stick again - lack of playing time has been what's held him back since turning pro.

*Anyway, this little tidbit inspired by the post at BoA regarding the new GNR album Chinese Democracy. Since it's release I've heard Paradise City, Civil War, November Rain, Patience, and Sweet Child o' Mine played regularly on various Edmonton radio stations and have yet to hear Chinese Democracy (I actually listened to it on youtube tonight after reading the BoA post)...weird. And has anyone ever made more money off three chords than AC/DC? Their stuff is good but damn, I here the start of one of their songs and think "Oh, AC/DC, turn it up....which one is this?"

Completely random inclusion. I saw the new Double OH Bourne Solace movie last night. reminded me of some other Spy Movie I saw recently. Nice to see the Bond franchise taken from the campy unbelievable stuff and deliver two real entertaining action movies in a row. Daniel Craig was an inspired choice to play Bond. I grew up with Roger Moore's bond, and let's be serious, a Roger Moore punch wouldn't knock my 4 year old daughter down. Since then, Timothy Daulton was doing wheelies in tractor trailers and Remington Steele smirked his way through some decent but heavy on the disbelief factor entries. These last two are the best Bond movies of my generation.

Seeing Stars

2008-11-12T08:57:00.004-07:00

I'm going to go out on a limb here and proclaim JDD as one of the NHL's three stars this week. Going 2-0 while stopping 94 of 97 shots will not always do that for you. But doing it in back to back nights in New Jersey and New York might get a fella noticed. I'm guessing only 2nd star honors though if Dustin Boyd gets to play a few more games on Iggy's line.

Uh-Oh

2008-11-07T20:10:00.003-07:00

This is Mathieu Garon wondering why the pucks along the ice are beating him more this year than last year....hmmm?

What's up with Garon early this season? One thing that I've noticed so far in his games is that Garon seems to be getting pieces of the puck as they go in. As a golatender, that is the worst feeling in the world and a serious confidence shaker. When I'm struggling with my game (as small a game as it is), I find that I get a lot of pieces of the puck - just never enough. It sucks - leaves you with the feeling of "geez I shoulda had that" instead of the "I just got beat cleanly, now shake it off and move on". I'm betting Garon is one frustrated man this day and he's been replaying goals from last nights loss all day in his mind thinking that one more save could have meant a win for his team.

Now, what causes a goalie to get pieces of shots? There's a few reasons:
1. You were in position but just got beat by an unstoppable shot. These ones happen all the time. Physics can tell you the reaction time of a goalie, the speed of his movements, the speeds of shots, etc. Some well placed shots are just physically impossible to stop, no matter how sharp the goalie is. I don't think this is the case with Matthieu.

2. Out of Position and Almost Recovered. These ones are similar to #1, ussually the result of a pretty passing play or fantastic deke where the goalie is momentarily out of position and recovers a split second too late. Again, I don't think this is the case.

3. Illness/Injury Sometimes, being injured or too sick to play is better for a goalie than being 95%. Skaters can play through this stuff a little easier and they can simplify their games a little when something is a little off. Goalies, not so much. Split seconds matter more in this position than any other. Getting little pieces often means for me that I'm a little sore, sick, or tired. I was there, I knew where the shot was going, and, as Maxwell Smart would say, I missed it by that much. This might be the case with Garon - he doesn't seem to cover the bottom of the net as well as he did last season and he may be still feeling the effects of last years season ending injury.

4. Confidence. I think goaltending compares very well with golf from a mental standpoint. Make a bad shot in golf and if you can't stop thinking about it things tend to snowball until ultimately your ball, several clubs, and the guy in your foursome who giggles, all end up in the lake. Bad performances in goal can often lead to others. Soft goals lead to bad decisions around the net. You think pass too much and lose an angle. You play too deep in your net, you play the shooter too aggressively. Not ussually the mark of an NHL starting goalie - ussually back ups and beer leaguers. Is anyone convinced Garon is started material yet? I think this is what's wrong. I think Matthieu is scared to lose and is not performing well as the middle head in the Oilers three headed netminding monster. Prior to the start of last nights game TSN showed a shot of Garon in the dressing room. The dude looked scared shitless - honestly. It gave me a bad feeling. I don't like this one bit.

Resistence is Futile

2008-11-04T08:50:00.003-07:00

I'm an avid reader of the Oilogosphere. I'm addicted and I admit it. The ideas and analysis and humor amongst the blogs and the comments are really second to none when it comes to entertaining reading for an Oilers fan. The one thing I'm bothered with though is the "groupthink" mentality of the originators of the sphere and their resistence to allowing the ideas of others take hold - to the point of it being comical. Now the boys don't like the groupthink lable at all....almost as much as Vic doesn't like "HF Clowns" with IQ's under 180 who have a hard time grasping the simplicity of Pearson's product moment coefficient - it's obvious no?

Anyways, I've been getting ready to move into a new (temporary) house while our new (permanent) house is under construction so I've been doing more reading than posting (read: Arguing about stupid shit on the internet) - but I read a gem of a post the other day, pretty much the culmination of a years worth of conversation, and it made me laugh. Actually it made me roll my eyes and shake my head. I didn't comment that day because I didn't want to be childish and petty - but after much soul searching I've realised I'm a pretty childish and petty person, so, It went something like this**:

HF Clown: We got Souray!

Sphere: Souray Sucks

Bruce: Actually, Souray is pretty reliable at what he does.

Dennis: Souray is a boat anchor.

Bruce: Souray has been playing really well this year - physical, putting up points, calmly breaking up plays.

Dennis: If we could get rid of him and pick up McLaren off waivers we'd be so much better.

HF Clown: Nobody wants McLaren - that's why he's on waivers.

Bruce: Another nice game from Souray tonight.

Dennis: Nobody in Edmonton ever watched Souray play while he was in Montreal - he's a third pairing guy and he sucks at that. I focused on him for years.

Bruce: Another nice game by Souray tonight.

LT: Souray is actually doing more than I thought he could.

Dennis: But he's an asshole - I've got a friend of a friends cousin that said so. He kicks puppies.

Vic: I don't know dennis, you're own data shows Souray to be playing pretty well - I'm impressed so far.

Dennis: Me too Vic - Souray's been playing great. And, he licks puppies.

**actual comments may vary - but you get my drift.

SYNERGY!

2008-11-03T15:21:00.005-07:00

A debate has sparked up again over at Lowetides site regarding the usefulness of defenders - this time spurred on by the Smid post. Smid has played his way back into the Oilers regular lineup after being bumped off the opening day roster by vetern Jason Strudwick - a journeyman who was expected to be the Oilers #7. But an early injury to Strudwick just a few games in game gave young Smid another shot and he's been making the most of it. Aside from a fluke goal handed to Colorado by a lazy linesman, Smid has been the ultimate shutdown defender since his return, teams cannot score while Ladi's on the ice. It's been pointed out in the comments at LT's site that Smid has been the beneficiary of some stellar goal tending while he's on the ice (.981 SP is not too shabby as Bubbles would say). But at what point does goal tending effect defensive play, or be buoyed by good defense? The stats guys are always quick to point to save percentage while a fella is on the ice and say "he's been the beneficiary of an unsustainable goaltending streak". Fair enough - I doubt that Roli and Garon and Deslaurier will continue to stop 98 shots out of every 100 behind Smid. But could the hot goaltending streak be more attributed to the defenders on the ice and not be in spite of it?

I've always been a proponent of shot quality, I don't think it should be ignored when crunching numbers. In fact, I think the numbers - as neat as they can be - mean a whole lot less without the context of quality. And quality doesn't just mean location of the shot. Shot quality includes location, puck speed, player speed, player lateral movement, screens, even game situation. No two shots in a game situation are created equally and to track shot quality throughout a game is near impossible. Some shots should be stopped 100% of the time, some shots are impossible to stop, and there are a whole lotta in betweens. Now, just as some players are better at getting a goalie to freeze or move in the opposite direction of a shot, there are defenders that are better at directing shots wide or keeping the play to the outside where shots come from less dangerous positions and less dangerous situations.

So where is the effect greater? Does a goalie drag out the 4x6 sheet when a certain player is on the ice because he has to or because he can? It's a real catch 22. A conundrum if you will. A delima even. You get my drift. As a goaltender myself, I'd take the outside shots with clear looks everytime. It helps my SP go up, it keeps the defenders numbers in the black. Both players benefit - mutually advantageous if you will.

Stylin'

2008-10-28T20:43:00.003-06:00

Even though the picture speaks a thousand words about the outcome of the game - this is one fabulously decked out goaltender. Man that gear looks sharp. That is all...back to your regularly scheduled bitching and moaning.

2 Down, 7 to Go

2008-10-09T20:41:00.003-06:00

Clint Malarchuck is surely a cat. A very dumb cat. But a cat nonetheless. Just read this story over at TSN about how Clint shot himself in the chin while resting his .22 calibre rifle between his knees. Apparantly he was hunting rabbits - Elmer Fudd couldn't have screwed up this bad. Malarchuck hasn't had the easiest of athletes lives. We all remember the famous throat cutting incident in which Clint nearly died on the ice after having his throat slashed by an errant skate blade. I also remember reading that he suffered from some sort of OCD disorder during his playing days where he'd leave the ice during practice convinced he left his stove on at home and believing his wife was cheating on him with a character from a soap opera....seriously.

In any event, I have the following suggestions for Clint:

1. Make sure to urinate before you go out setting any bear traps.
2. Do not put your ear to the track to see if a train is approaching.
3. Always wear a seatbelt - even when sitting at the dinner table at home.
4. Consider having all meat blended prior to consumption.
5. Never partake in any activity requiring you to wear safety glasses - I'm pretty sure you'd poke your eye out while putting the glasses on.

Ugly Wins 2009 Norris Trophy

2008-10-09T19:51:00.014-06:00

This is Dion Phaneuf - your 2009 Norris Trophy winner. He hasn't played a game yet. In fact, no NHL defenceman has played more that 2 games this season. Yet I've heard Dion Phaneuf mentioned twice now by two major sports writers (Al Strachan and Mike Brophy), as the man to unseat Lidstrom as the NHL's best reargaurd. Somewhere Steve Simmons is nodding in agreement. You see, they all have seen Ugly put up some major points on the PP, and throw some bone rattling hits (on the TSN highlight reels). The very same reels that show him skating behind his own net on opposing goals, or getting beat wide on a big Kipper save. No matter though - the men that vote on this trophy have seen enough and have anointed him the heir apparent. Brophy even went so far as to imply that it is time to give the award to a young player - noting quite astutely that usually the Norris winner is an older, more established player! What's that you say Mike? Norris trophies usually go to players in a position that is tough to develop in? Where older, smarter players ussually excel? Where a good night by most D-men are one in which you don't really notice them - although they've been on the ice for 22 minutes? Who decided it was a good idea for the writers to vote on this award anyway? Just give Phaneuf the nightly monster nod and be done with it - please.

No Pronger Sightings

2008-10-02T20:22:00.004-06:00

Well, I'm back from Anaheim with everything intact except my bank account. I was ready to fling a D cell at Pronger's head at a moments notice, but the only 6'6" gap toothed dude I saw down there seemed to be a more likable fella than CFP could ever imagine being.

On the way home I discovered yet another reason why Calgary sucks. Has anyone ever gone through customs in Calgary? After getting off the plane with a four year old in desperate need of a potty (she likes to wait for the seatbelt sign to come on before she really needs to go), I grabbed her and began to race down the corridor thinking surely there must be a toilet close by. Nope. And we landed in Calgary, but I'm pretty sure customs is in Airdrie. The corridor between the jetway and the first checkpoint (where you lie about how much you've purchased) is easily a half mile long, with about four or five 90 degree bends just to bottleneck the traffic, making it difficult for seniors, those in wheelchairs, and passengers frantically carrying small children with bladders filled to failure from a 3 hour flight of drinking little clear plastic cups of "water with ice in it".

Anyway, a little better than a week away from Canada in "a joke of a hockey market", has left me a little out of the loop. I see we lost a few games in shootouts, I imagine that's been mentioned in the blogs somewhere at some point. I need to do some reading to catch up.

Who Cares?

2008-09-21T16:12:00.006-06:00

This picture was the beginning of the end for the Ryder Cup. Since this September day in 1999, this event has been turned into an unwatchable circus. What was once best vs best, has become a WWE style pose down with idiots like Justin Leonard celebrating a 2 foot put he could make with a rock and a two by four like he had just found the cure for horsefacedness. Another in a long list of great events ruined by the american grandstanding. Does anyone really care about the Ryder Cup anymore? I sure as hell don't.

Retribution!

2008-09-19T13:44:00.005-06:00

I will be in Anaheim all of next week. My hotel is strategically a mere spitting distance from Honda Center. If Chris Pronger enters my field of vision he will have something thrown at him, be it a minature burning crib, a non-gapped set of dentures, or perhaps I'll just go all de-evolutionary on him and fling some shit...either way, suggestions are welcome.

So What's This Salary Cap Thing we Keep Hearing About?

2008-09-19T07:43:00.005-06:00

Training camp physicals begin today and optimism abounds in Oil Country. A young, fast, offensively explosive team, dotted with a few vets here and there, and a possible emerging superstar in young Sam Gagner.

Sam's got two years remaining on the entry level contract and is one of the young guns on the team that seems likely to outperform the contract figure this season and next. Is it out of the realm of possibility to see Gagner put up somewhere in the neighborhood of 65 points this season and 80 in the next? I don't think so. The Kid's smart and skilled and he's primed to play big minutes against the other teams 2nd and 3rd lines and on the PP. Wouldn't those numbers be great? They would for Sam that's for sure - because Jason Pomminville just hit the jackpot with 2nd and third season point totals of 68 and 80. Pomminville just signed a 5 year, $26.5million dollar contract to do what Gagner does.

So, what does this mean for Gagner? Well, factor in inflation. At 5% per year, $26.5 million becomes $29.2 million. So it's conceivable that after his rookie contract has expired, Gagner could be in a position to command a 5 year, $30 million contract....jesus...he'll be 21 years old. I remember when I was 21, doing laundry in my dorm on a Friday afternoon in hopes of finding a $10 bill in my jeans in order to jack up the weekend spending money. Would 5 years at say $22.5million at that point be considered a hometown discount?

Tough to say where this league is going salary cap wise, but say one stagnant year in League revenues, maybe in 2010, that keeps the cap from rising, would be a hard pill to swallow for a team like the Oilers - committed to spending to the cap and all. I'd suggest leaving some wiggle room for Gagner....and oh yeah - when's Cogliano's contract up again? There has to be a way to increase league revenue, at least superficially, to keep that cap going up.

Dog Days

2008-08-06T13:43:00.001-06:00

When does hockey season start again? This summer shit is boring.

Peter Pocklington Can't be Trusted?

2008-06-27T11:36:00.004-06:00

Say it ain't so!

Trevor Linden

2008-06-11T20:35:00.003-06:00

Long time pro hockey Player Trevor Linden (Pictured above in the uniform of what appears to be VANCOUVER), retired today, 20 years afte being drafted by the Canu....ahhhhh...who cares - it's Vancouver.

Carnac the Magnifcent

2008-06-09T14:20:00.000-06:00

Carnac: Homosexuals and Toronto Maple Leafs

Ed McMahon: Homosexuals and Toronto Maple Leafs

Carnac: Name two places where you'll find really big assholes.

Seems the Leafs have found their blowhard to replace generally well spoken and well liked Paul Maurice. Now, if my theory (and Carnac's gift) is correct, and asshole size is somehow tantamount to success with the Leafs, the GM position will shortly filled by one of the following:

The Wonders of Modern Technolgy

2008-06-08T18:33:00.002-06:00

I figure this internet thing is about to catch on. So why not get in early and start taking advantage of what it has to offer. Rather than sending DVD's through the mail, a link to my own blog with attached video might do the trick.

I thought that Victoria's Dance Recital would be a good place to start. Enjoy.

Darren